alert: deadly virus

Sunday, February 19, 2006


DEADLY STRAIN OF VIRUS DETECTED

A new viral strain of influenza has been detected. It seems to be a highly mutated form of the regular flu virus and as such, and has been dubbed the H5NJ strain. Mugger influenza is an infection caused by mugger flu viruses (duh). It can make some domesticated students very sick and even kill them. These influenza viruses occur naturally among muggers. Wild muggers worldwide carry the viruses in their bodies, but usually do not get sick from them. However, mugger influenza is very contagious in the Bukit Timah precinct due to the high concentration of robotic zombie students waving stacks of notes.

If you exhibit signs of feverish studying and unending devotion to doing work, you may be at risk. It spreads through contact with infected muggers. Yes that's right. Especially now that the seasonal test period is almost upon us, the muggers are out in force. Beware of muggers wielding their tutorials and calculators. Be extremely wary and minimise contact with suspected victims. If you are not a naturalized mugger then your body will be put under great strain from the virus. After a few days of intensive mugging your body will not be able to take it and will break down. It is advised that you seek advice from your nearest physician before you develop immunity to the virus and mutate into a full-fledged mugger yourself.

Ministry of Posing
Singapore
Too Cool for You





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